As a giant section of Antarctic glacier collapsed yesterday, scientists were astonished to discover an enormous Boris, which had evidently been frozen there since the last ice age.  All attempts to communicate with the Boris have been met by incomprehensible gibberish, which experts say have increased the likelihood that that 'our' Boris is indeed a descendent of this ancient proto-Boris.
The creature was last seen crossing the Pacific, heading North.  Some are predicting the emergence of an enormous Donald somewhere under the Arctic ice, and are warning that - if this does take place - the two must not be allowed to meet, for fear of the reaction that would take place.  This latest development clearly shows that the Climate Emergency is entering a deadly new phase.

As energy prices soared, even Dark Lords had to cut back.  Huge volcanoes brimming with molten larva were tax deductible, of course, as long as any magic rings thus forged were used for business purposes.  But really, a small campfire would often suffice and the insurance costs were much more reasonable.

Frank couldn't wait to find out which super-nice person would win the next Tory leadership race.