Mordor has today announced that its governmental shutdown will continue into a fifth week. The shutdown has come about because senior Nazgul have not been able to agree funding for a wall with the evil domain’s southern border with neighbouring USA, a policy which was wildly popular with orcs when President Trump came to power, as it was widely feared that this would result in a ‘stain drain’ of the most ruthlessly competent evil entities, who would all be eager to get jobs in the rival country’s new administration.
Manifesting as a thirty-foot wide flaming red eye, democratically elected supreme lord of darkness Sauron reiterated today that he was prepared to allow the shutdown to go on for ‘as long as it takes’ for minions in his organisation to begin construction of the wall, which he initially proposed would be paid for by the United States.
For his part, President Trump has stressed his commitment to offering political asylum and a competitive benefits package to any suitably-qualified ex-Mordor employee looking for a career change and a new challenge, and went on to say that there were plenty of good jobs available in his administration, due to his ongoing commitment to firing anyone who isn’t actually utterly evil.
Manifesting as a thirty-foot wide flaming red eye, democratically elected supreme lord of darkness Sauron reiterated today that he was prepared to allow the shutdown to go on for ‘as long as it takes’ for minions in his organisation to begin construction of the wall, which he initially proposed would be paid for by the United States.
For his part, President Trump has stressed his commitment to offering political asylum and a competitive benefits package to any suitably-qualified ex-Mordor employee looking for a career change and a new challenge, and went on to say that there were plenty of good jobs available in his administration, due to his ongoing commitment to firing anyone who isn’t actually utterly evil.
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