Talking from the dais at Cair Paravel, High King Peter made the announcement to a gathering of fauns, various talking animals and - confusingly - Father Christmas.
The amount of halal meat produced and sold in Narnia has increased in recent years, with a corresponding downturn in sales of traditional Narnian goods, such as Turkish Delight and anything frozen and then turned to stone.
Meat in Narnia is currently consumed by various talking beasts, who see it as amoral to eat other intelligent animals, opting instead to eat only dumb animals, such as chickens and estate agents.
The decision has been met with some criticism, especially from Calormen, which is strange because it definitely isn’t just a placeholder for negative Arab stereotypes.
Speaking at a symposium of magical lions on Wednesday, Aslan faced strong criticism that the move was a manifestation of religious intolerance. The son of the Emperor-Over-The-Sea responded by claiming Narnia simply saw all life as sacred, and that this would probably just be the first step in a gradual move towards vegetarianism, subsequent veganism, and ultimately complete reliance on photosynthesis. This sparked vitriolic disagreement from Simba, who was quick to point out that all life was a circle, and eating slower, weaker creatures was only natural. Shere Khan seconded this view, with especial emphasis on the eating of man-cubs, but was subsequently expelled from the symposium on account of being a tiger.
Asked about the controversial move, Queen Susan - whose interests include boys and nylons - said it would not really have any impact on her, because she mainly lives on cigarettes and strong gin, and doesn’t eat much anyway because she wants to look after her figure. This prompted a frosty silence from the other kings and queens of Narnia, though they later issued a press statement that the four of them would soon be making a ‘very special’ train ride, after which they were sure Queen Susan would ‘not present any more of a problem’.