The houses, which will be constructed from locally sourced materials including wood, stone, and the entombed remains of ancient, evil creatures, are said to be ideal for first-time buyers and for landlords who don’t care if their tenants are gradually siphoned off to feed the unspeakable hunger of dark creatures beneath the earth.
“It is important that we continue to address the housing crisis,” said Prime Minister Theresa May, presenting the white paper to a special meeting in Rivendell last week. “The site is ideally located in an area of haunting natural beauty, and the weather there is usually great, apart from the fog.”
She went on to point out that the new houses will be firmly in the commuter belt, or at least this will be the case with the advent of HS2, now set to link London to Scotland via Bree, and which is due to begin construction shortly after the end of the Third Age.
Speaking to one of our reporters in a private interview, local Barrow Wight Terry Stubs said, “We are very much looking forward to welcoming new residents to the area. It is wonderful that we are being given this opportunity to dispel pernicious stereotypes about who we are. Barrow Wights are very warm creatures. We have so much to give.”
“Cold be hand and heart and bone,” he added.
On an unrelated topic, we continue to hope for any information regarding the whereabouts of our missing correspondent.
But criticisms have been raised that the site has been chosen simply to act as a gateway through which the nearby Old Forest can then become a potential area for further development.
“That’s absolutely right,” confirmed the Prime Minister. “Once this goes through, we can probably get an Ikea and seventeen McDonalds approved, no sweat. True, we’ll have to figure out a way of getting rid of that crazy hermit in the woods. Maybe we can bribe him with a judge’s spot on the next series of The Voice. And ring-a-dong-a-dilo! Problem solved.”
Mrs May, who is rumoured to possess one of the nine rings for mortal men, then pulled her black cowl over her face, hissed a little, and flew off on her giant winged lizard monster.